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  1. These Three Things Thomas Waterhouse 04-Nov-2017
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The personality behind this site is author, speaker, counselor, and photographer, Thomas Waterhouse.

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Election-Cycle Advice

Thursday, February 18, 2016
The next time you find yourself in a debate or an argument, here are four things to remember. 

(1) First, facts don’t trump beliefs. If there is a disagreement, it's at the core likely to be about what the parties believe, and not about any one point of fact. Simply put, we are “wired” to receive facts that support our beliefs, and to discard those that don’t. And if that point isn’t powerful enough, consider this. 

(2) When we press facts that are contrary to a defensive belief system, they only serve to make that belief system stronger! Do yourself a favor, and give that notion some very deep thought. People have a serious investment in their sense of mastery and self-esteem, which brings me to the third point. 

(3) If people feel competent and good about themselves, then they are more likely to accept new ideas. People who feel challenged and put down do not. It’s a profound knowing that building people up makes them receptive to new information, while proving them wrong closes their minds. 

The question of whether you would rather be “right” or “effective” is quite wise to ask, and the bottom line is this. Argument to the detriment of relationship will always be foolish, so try to think of it this way; my fourth and last point. 

(4) If you passionately build others up, then they just might grow curious about your point of view!

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